Question: I would like to know how you are, how you are feeling?

Rajiv: Just happy, nothing else. Happy always and content. But two things are there. Contentedness is a slippery thing. Usually we are content with the knowledge of the Self or the love for the Self, the consciousness, but we are not content with the world. We want more and more. But the moment your inner light is switched on, you become content with the world and discontent with the love for the Self. So never be content with the love to the Self, to the consciousness. This is very important. You see, we all have three things. Whenever we want to go near the consciousness or want to realize the truth, three things come:

First, how does God look like, how does consciousness look like, where does he live, what are his powers, what effect he has, how he is controlling? That is one thing.
Second thing about the Self, about awareness. I am aware, my ego, my mind, my desires, my wishfulness, my situation, my goals, my achievements, my anger. All these things come about myself.
And the third thing comes about the world. The world is not good, everybody in the world is ignorant, they are not right and why have we been sent over there?

All these questions, they cause a lot of conflict within us. The conflict is removed only by putting the awareness to the source in us, the consciousness, and taking it away from the body, from what is visible. Every day we only get caught up in whatever is visible and not what is not visible within us, like mind and awareness. We don't think of it, we ignore it. So all the ideas about the world and its objects, all these concepts come about the consciousness, the Self, also. And we start inquiring into the whereabouts of the consciousness.

"How does consciousness look like, where I have to go and find it, which path I have to do? Whether I have to go through meditation or through devotion or through& First through which religion?"

These questions don't matter. What matters is your faith on the consciousness. In knowing about the whereabouts of the consciousness, consciousness is forgotten, only whereabouts come into predominance. God is forgotten, God's powers come into predominance. So that is one thing we need to know. That consciousness is within me, that is what is all, nothing else. Just one awareness that we are alive right now, we are the life force.

Second thing about the Self, about my anger etc. I have to drop my desires, my anger, my relationships, I have to drop all my problems, my involvements, I have to drop&. So much focus goes on to the drop, drop, drop. Instead of that, just one focus: I exist, I am.
This is why everything is existing. In trying to drop everything 'I exist' is forgotten and anger and desires take the predominance. That is not the right direction.

And about the world: world whatever is visible, is body. World to me means my form. Nothing else. So not to focus onto the form of the individual but see the life force in every being. That is taking the mind, awareness, away from the form to the truth. These three things are required nothing else.
The more and more clarity will come, more and more discontent about the Self will come, because you will know so much more. The moment it is, "ok, now I know it", means that is the block. We learn every moment. Never be content with the love for the Self. The same love will develop the habit of love. And when the habit of love will be there, whatever will be expressed through this life force, through us, will only be love and nothing else. And that is what is needed.
Usually what is the normal pattern is that, "ok, I know that I am living", "I know that I am That". So now I don't need to know anything else. And that is the whole problem. Never be content with that. But be content with whatever you get in the world to your own self. That gives the peace of mind.

What way, what path, it doesn't matter. The goal should not be overlooked. Go by meditation, go by devotion, go by knowledge, go by love, go by whatever, go by action, go by work. The whole problem is getting involved. Switch on the light and live it out. No problem. That light is called as enlightenment. Nothing else. That light is about focus on the truth. What we are getting caught up into is only a plateau, a display. Display is not right. Getting involved in the display of life, that leads only to pain and pain and pain.

We call it my consciousness, your consciousness. It is neither mine nor yours. Everyone is consciousness. Everyone has the same awareness. The difference comes the moment we identify ourselves as this form. That is the first difference, that is the boundary. Awareness becomes Christian, or Loeki or Pieter, me or you, all these things.
' I am' becomes 'I am Christian' and that is the beginning of the split and the confusion comes. That 'I am Christian' is today. In the previous life you were telling that 'I am Julia', maybe Rhadha who knows, maybe Krishna who knows. So that split of identification causes the division in our totality.

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Everybody, whosoever is doing whatever work, they are doing it only to be happy.
A player wants to win the match because he wants to be happy. A businessman wants to do business because he wants to earn money to be happy. His idea of happiness is money. Ruler's idea of happiness is kingdom. Government's idea of happiness is to control, govern. Their idea of happiness is that. Mother's idea of happiness is a different way. Everyone has the idea of happiness and everyone enjoys their own way. But everybody is ultimately wanting happiness, nothing else.

So the way it is being sought, that is ok. But ignorance is that what makes me happy. Whenever we attach ourselves with the form and think that anybody will give happiness to me from outside, that happiness will go, because the person itself will go, the form itself will go. That happiness will not be permanent happiness. What is to be sought is the permanent happiness. That will happen only when from object the mind will go to the subject.
Everyone is seeking only happiness. For patients happiness is to get rid of the sickness. For a doctor, happiness is more patients (laughter!). It is very interesting you know, that if the patients are not there, doctor is unhappy. You see, so this conflict will continue. Everyone has a different idea.

The moment you come out of the concept of happiness than you will see happiness, real happiness. Conceptualising happiness is going into limitedness. The moment concept is over, happiness is over. Happiness is not a concept.
How much we are involved. I saw yesterday a man with very big moustaches and immediately I remembered a man in India. I also used to have big moustaches and I was so proud of my moustaches&(laughter). And you don't touch my moustaches. If nothing else, we are happy because of big moustaches.
Somebody is happy cleaning shit. Somebody is happy with his clothes only, somebody is happy& Everybody is not recognizing the truth. This is all situation-oriented happiness. That moustache can be shaved off any time, so happiness can be shaved off any time (laughter).

So when we conceptualise, we limit the happiness, we limit the love. That is what I say, any relationship, the moment we conceptualise it, we create boundaries because of fear. The moment boundaries are there, relationship turns into relationshit. But the moment you dissolve the boundaries in a relationship, it becomes love. Relationship can be very very beautiful, but it should be boundaryless, not controlling. It is love, nothing else.

The true relationship is relationship of our awareness with the consciousness, within ourselves. That is the real friend, which we carry always. Right now we are aware of this Satsang, the moment we go out we are aware of the road. We go to our home, we are aware of the home. We go to our girlfriend we are aware of girlfriend. We go to our boyfriend we are aware of boyfriend. We go to our work, we are aware of work. So awareness we are carrying every time. But instead of seeing the awareness, we start focusing on the situation outside and that is the whole problem. That outside situation is changing.

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In deep sleep in the night you are not aware, you are unaware, but still body is functioning that is consciousness. In the morning that "I am" becomes converted in to the form, the name, whatever we identify ourselves as.

So there are two 'I's. First is 'I am', this is the identification of the awareness with the consciousness which gives us the feeling of existence, 'I exist'. And the second is 'I am Christian' and not even Christian but we become happy that I have big moustaches. So situation oriented arrogance, which comes because of 'I am' becomes 'I am Christian', that is the whole problem.
The moment it comes to 'I exist', from where the feeling is coming that 'I exist'? Existence, being, every being has the same feeling 'I exist'. Every being. To know that 'I am being', no practice, no method is required. We are all aware of existence, I exist. No method, no practice, nothing will make it available. The moment inner lights are on, you know that 'I exist', finished. Then nothing has its impact, just the peace, the quietness is there. That is the happiness which is our true nature.

Life has these 3 things; Life has creation, maintenance and life has destruction. One life-span ends, not the life. Life-span is associated with form, life is common. That commonness is the universality, which we say that consciousness is everywhere. Everywhere consciousness is there. So there is no place to go and find it. It is not 'that'. The moment it becomes 'that', that makes it a concept, an idea. Just be aware of your existence, that's all.
'I exist'. 'I am' is continuous. Right from childhood situations changed, but 'I' was the see-er, 'I' was watching it. 'I am' was there when we were child, teenage, adult. Every time 'I am' was there. But the situation came to more predominance and 'I am' was forgotten. Habit became so strong of identifying the situation and forgetting the 'I am', that we started searching our own self. Height of foolishness! What is to search in my own self what I already have? You never search for what you have! You search for what you don't have. It 's all because of the habit of overlooking the 'I am' and becoming a status, or a position or how I identify myself, 'I am', as. That is the whole confusion. That continuous awareness which was there right from the beginning, that was overlooked. That source was overlooked, that truth was overlooked. Situations became predominant, truth was forgotten. That is what is to be noticed. Just be aware of your own awareness and that is all. Immediately all likes and dislikes in life will go and mind will become quiet. Conflict will go.

The moment conflict goes from your action, you will perform your action in wholeheartedness. You will live the world much more happily, there will not be division, you will not divide yourself into two different aspects; likes and dislikes. Nothing will hold your action. You will be knowing what you will be doing. And the moment that exposes, everything becomes clear; this life, previous life, everything becomes clear because you know the truth. Then the life doesn't matter. As long as we don't know, as long as the inner lights are not on, we want to know the previous life. Why to get caught up in to forms? Why not to see the 'I am'? 'I am' was there in previous life, 'I' was there in the previous life, 'I am' is there in this life. Only form changed. That is all. We want to search 'I am' because we want to control our situations.

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Question: Can you show me where the button is of my inner light?

Your button is your trust to your own self. 'I exist', that is the button. And how to approach that button is your trust. That's it. You exist, right? That is the button. When a situation comes you see that 'I exist' was there before and is there now also. The result is that you don't get identified because it doesn't have any impact on you.

Question: Then I think I can only get it on when things are going good.

Right, that is the misunderstanding. Everyone is carried away only by the understanding of good and bad. We only want to eat and we don't want shit. But we have to have both.
Just stay firm on that feeling in you of 'I am', 'I exist' That will bring your focus back to the truth. Truth is that 'you exist', nothing else. Whatever is the situation, right from childhood until now, 'you existed'. 'You' are the thread of the necklace, rest are all beats, situations are the beats, they will come and go. Thread is continuous and will give the shape to the necklace, beat is only display. Continuity is the thread.

Situations, lives, they came, you identified with that situation. Sometimes you were happy and the moment happy days are over, you are unhappy. Both the situations give the same effect. Happiness and unhappiness both take you to the same thing. Happy days, when they come, they make you happy. But the moment they go, they make you unhappy. So that happiness leads to unhappiness. And unhappiness whenever it comes, it gives you pain. But when it goes, it makes you happy.

Real happiness is not situation-oriented, never. Unhappiness comes and goes, happiness is always there. Un comes over that. Un is my not wanting, my dislike. This un, is actually unlimited happiness which we all have; the bliss, the life force is unlimited happiness. But the moment this un is misused, the moment we want to acquire that, the ignorance, the "no" in us, what it does, it takes the un out from the unlimited and puts it to happiness. So unlimited happiness becomes limited unhappiness. Because of identifications, "no", I want my ways, dislikes. Unhappiness is always limited, it is only a hard time for a particular time, but it is always limited. Unhappy days are not there forever. Even in unhappy times you can be very happy, but only if you know the truth. Only if you focus on 'I am'. And what can happen at the most? I will be happy tomorrow, what else? Nothing else. So that is the button. The button to the inner light. Just be focused there. And the method is your trust. Whatever way you believe it. Instead of believing your surrounding, believe the truth.
Instead of being caught up in the powers of God, be involved in God. Instead of getting caught up in energies, trying to control energies, go to the source of energy, then you will control it. Controlling the energies or feeling the energies, trying to get it, is unlimited and will never bring you to peace. One after another, one after another, there is so much to know. But the moment you know that thread, what is expressed, you get it.

What you are trying to find is already available to you. It is already there. It is neither 'this' nor 'that'. It is 'I am'. 'I exist'. It is neither 'who' nor 'what'. It is 'I am'. The beingness, the feeling of being is 'I am', which is present even in deep sleep. 'I am' sleeping. But identification as the form goes. That is the switch.

So form will go, body will not go. Nothing dies, matter never dies. Nothing dies. It is the expression of the same consciousness, how can it go? Form will go. Form is like an ornament, like a picture, like a pot which is made up of earth. Earth is common, the moment form is gone, it is again earth, again take the same form some other time. And that potmaker is your identification, ego. Your identification with this form or whatever you want to become that is the potmaker. Consciousness is not the potmaker. Consciousness is void, empty. Love is void, empty. It's you, what you want to make it as, that will be expressed.

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First is consciousness. Take it in a very simple way, truth. We go into the deep sleep at night, there is nothing, because you become unaware. Awareness becomes unaware. In the morning awareness comes back. Energy comes. The function begins because awareness is energy and every energy needs to express. The character of energy is to express, it is activity. So that which was not expressed in the deep sleep, that comes in the morning and immediately this awareness, which is the energy of the consciousness, this awareness recognises itself as 'I am this form'. Whatever the form. And it is so strong that with this form it immediately becomes 'I am Christian'. You understand that 'I am Christian'. Instead of understanding the awareness, 'I am', you understand that you are Christian. So this is a part, this is not wholesome. And then this Christian, whatever is your situation, whatever you want to have, likes and dislikes, accordingly you want to have objects in your surrounding.

So mind itself is a part and mind is therefore insecure, it is not complete. Therefore we all carry inside a kind of insecurity the moment we try to comprehend through mind. First outcome is insecurity because we lose our absoluteness to part. And then we want to comprehend our absoluteness with this part, which is called mind. So mind can not comprehend it. It happens.
Your 'I am' is there before mind. 'I am' is there even while you are sleeping, in deep sleep. I am sleeping. Awareness becomes unaware. Mind is limited and with this limited mind we want to measure the unlimited; limited can never measure unlimited. It is not possible.

Question: Then what to do with the mind?

Nothing. You don't have to do anything. It is a function. Don't try to control the mind, that will consume all the energy. Not to drop mind. Just clear the misunderstanding. That is all. Instead of identifying with the object, identify with the source. Instead of identifying with whatever is visible, identify with the source. That is it, let the mind be there. Nobody can drop mind, that is not possible.

Question: Who is going to understand then?

Mind. Mind will understand and the moment mind will understand, it will not jump here and there, it will become still. Then it will become quiet. That will break the identification and that is quietness. Initially mind will understand, nothing else. And mind will understand that jumping here and there was not right. Jumping was being done by objectifying. Jumping was being done by becoming one with the object, which is limited. The moment it will understand this, it will not identify itself as the form. So all the do-er ship, trying to control this form, will go. As long as we do not know, we want to control. The moment mind will understand that it never goes, it becomes quiet. So nothing is to be done and that understanding and quietness will lead to lack of do-er ship.

Question: And then we relax?

The moment do-er ship is gone, finished, you are just empty. Your inner light is switched on. Then your are picturizing everything with inner lights on. No impact. Otherwise relaxation is an idea because you are fed up because of the tiredness of the mind. So you find relaxation. Once you are already relaxed, then what is relaxation? Relaxation, the feeling of relaxation, means you are identifying with your unsteadiness much more. Once you are already relaxed, then what is relaxation? Nothing. Just happiness. Just you are happy. Neither the unsteadiness disturbs you nor the stillness gives you anything. You are just happy in any situation. So you come out of likes and dislikes.

Question: While we are sitting here the mind, the intellect, is making overtime. It doesn't give me any relaxation because I am trying to understand you, follow you and I lose you many times. So sometimes I think this is making me more confused and more&

No, no, it is good. Have you heard of the word "pin drop silence"? So when there is real silence, even a pin drop makes a lot of noise.
The mind, which was caught up into the world, into movement, into everything, the moment you come over here, it is trying to understand the same way. But it surfaces more and more that it is incapable to understand and that is good. That will make you realize that you can not comprehend through mind. This is Satsang, this is real Satsang.

This is what happens; that silence makes even the smallest sound noticeable. At least you are noticing now that mind is trying to jump, trying to understand. And sometimes not noticing, sometimes just guessing, confusion, means the moment you loose your attentiveness it will be confusion. And then you will be noticing your confusion much more. Otherwise you don't even try to understand in the ordinary world. How will you notice it? At least you are noticing your confusion. That is what is my work, to make you understand, to make you notice your confusion.

Nature of the mind is confusion. Mind means confusion, mind means complexity. Consciousness, awareness is very simple. So mind will keep on making complications. This is why they say mind is the worst demon. How to control this demon?
In India the Hindus worship lord Ganesh. You must have seen it. Ganesha, the elephant God, neck made up of elephant and very heavy body, known for his heaviness and his vehicle that was given to him, what they say, was a mouse. So Lord Ganesh goes onto mouse. So Hindu priests worship mouse? Not knowing that mouse is nothing but the mind. Ganesh is nothing but the knowledge. Your knowledge, your conviction, whenever it is heavy, it will ride over the mouse. Otherwise mouse's habit is to sneak here and there. Mind is mouse, nothing else.
So it is actually the control of mind. That will be activated only when sneaking here and there will stop.

Mind has to be stopped by strong conviction to the truth. Your conviction is your key. That will make the mind stop. Otherwise mind will keep on asking questions. Mind is the function of energy, it has to express itself. You cannot stop mind. You cannot stop thinking.
Instead of trying to understand through mind, remove the confusions. And they will go the moment you ask questions. If you are confused for something, immediately ask questions. That is what is the need of the teacher, to ask him questions. Teacher because you trust him. Ultimately your trust, your faith will work. It's all you. What I am telling you is your own self. But the habit of the mind is of not believing, to mistrust.

Why does the mistrust come? Why, what is the reason we mistrust everything?
Because we had the habit of trusting whatever we saw as mind. All the previous lives we had the habit, we trusted our body and it deceived, it went, it didn't stay permanently. We tried to find permanent happiness, trusting whatever we had, but it never was permanent, we lost it. So we developed the habit of mistrusting. So even when the right direction comes, we don't trust. I'm telling you the right direction, your own Self, in the simplest way. But the habit of mistrust. That will keep on coming. That habit of mistrust is mouse, sneaking. The moment you understand, see the truth, what I am telling you is your own true nature, nothing else. You only have to trust.

Question: So trusting you and me is the same?

Same. Because what is speaking through me is only consciousness. The knowledge, which I found is nothing, just the inner light is on, whatever I see. Right now you are not seeing it, it doesn't mean you are never able to see it. There is no difference between you and me. Same. The only difference is right now a little bit of habit of jumping here and there which I had. I also had the same thing. But the moment I understood, do-er ship gone, stillness. So there is some jumping here and there and in me there is stillness. That is the only difference. You are still recognising yourself as a wave and I recognise myself as the ocean. One day you will also recognise. Simple.
So there is no difference. Whatever is being represented is only consciousness, everyone is right. Life force is making them act, nothing else. You have to know this. It is not the form which is acting out anything. It is the life force. Form will die. Form will go. See the life force there and not the form. As long as you will see the form, you will get caught up in the split, likes and dislikes. See the life force, who else is making anybody act in the world? Dead bodies don't come out from the graves and start working.
It will happen. Whenever the radio is to be tuned for the fine-tuning, radio makes a lot of noise. There is just a little fine-tuning required and that is what I am doing. You are already tuned, I am just doing a little fine-tuning. You never lose it, you never lose your life-force. How can you? It is not possible.